Mini case : Pasar Malam Edition

Date Happened : 24 May 2012

Mini cases : Pasar Malam Edition

Allright, if you dont know what is pasar malam means? ( its night market in Malaysia , and its a Malay word in language)


Its a Thursday , me and my girlfriend went to SS2 Taman Megah pasar malam, as usual plenty of peoples in the market, there are plenty of stuff you can find. 


And i love to go to the handphone accessory stall to see what is the new thing.


When i was at the stall looking around , one of the owner came to me and asked :


Owner : 啊 靓女, 找什沒吗？( Ahh PRETTY, looking for something?)


Me : Its okay  and I turned my head to her like this :

Owner : 哇！吓 死人！(wah!! scared die me (means scary la)!)


Me : 我都没有吓你。。(i didnt scared u also )


Owner : 你的头发长长像个女人吗。。。。( your hair so long, like a girl ma)


Me : Speechless...


Then she laughed happily...

Not FUNNY

Massage Edition

Date Happened : 6 April 2012

Massage Edition:


I think my jobs been hectic recently ... and I had a really bad headache .... maybe due to hectic work and not enough rest within the few days.... And every time when i have headache i will naturally think of going for a massage to rest...


So i decided to go to a massage after work .... stepped in a massage center  requested 2 hours of massage.. i always take 2 hour massage ... because i can have a good sleep during the 2 hours... ( but if you had a bad skill masseur .. i will have a  really hard time of 2 hours la..  depends on your luck )


Went in to my cubical ... undressed myself ( half naked arr.. not fully naked ... you naughty naughty!! kekekekeke! )


Then a Sarawakian masseur came in ....  started to massage my back then leg hands.... half way I fell asleep... then suddenly her  colleague passed by and talked to her....


Conversation started here :


Masseur friend : Ehh....busy arr?
My masseur     : Ok lor.... customer saya tidur saja...(my customer is sleeping) 
Masseur friend : yakah..... tadi aku nampak dia ..  rambut panjang
                      (yeah , just now i saw him.....long hair....)
My Masseur     : yala.... rambut panjang mesti ada buat rebonding...kulit , tangan, kaki .. muka pun macam perempuan ...
                      (yeah man ..long hair, must be went for rebonding...skin, hands, legs face also like a GIRL..) 
Me                 : Aku lelaki  ( Im a MAN - macho manly voice !)
My Masseur     : Mak kau! oi... bukan awak tidur....
                       (OMG ... Oii!! dont you sleeping?)


Then she keep quiet for the rest of 2 hours... but i hardly sleep as she  told her colleague that my hair / skin/ hand/ leg  and even face look like girl...

ME HALF NAKED.. Y U STILL THINK IM LOOK LIKE GIRL??

International Edition : Nightlife ( Bali)

Date happened : 19 May 2012

International Edition : Nightlife ( Bali)

Hey Guys! herewith another case that happened in Bali as well.. but this time more interesting ... because it happened along the street.


Okay! its our last night in Bali , so me and my girlfriend decided to have a walk around Kuta area ( Kuta = one of the most commercialized town in Bali) . We just walked around the town , and we actually didn't noticed that we walked to the Legian ( another town in Bali ) and this area are full of Pubs, Nightclubs and massage parlors , same even do offer erotic massage ... men reader... nice right?? nyek nyek nyek!

Okok.. back to topic, me and girlfriend passed by  a nightclub, and we were stopped by a pimp, here was how the case happened :


Pimp                   : yooo GIRLS!! come in ! we have male strippers!
Me and my GF    : nah.. its okay ( i just lazy to explain to him I'm a man)
Pimp                   : C'mon! dont be shy ladies! those strippers are Sexay!  come in please!
Me                      : no thanks! ( in a manly voice)
Pimp                   : Oh MISS you must be having soar throat , and it looks like you lost your voice..( aiyorr!! he tot my macho voice due to soar throat)
Me                      : Ignore  him ( and we walked away straight)
Pimp                   : hey ladies! come back , its fun , please come!


And we just leaved that area as fast as we can ... later another pimp jump out and say the same thing how?


Vomit blood + Au tin ( Cantonese)  right?

 MR. PIMP .... Y U NO SEE ME A MAN? 

I VOMIT BLOOD MAX  wei!!

Toilet Edition -18 SX (after age verification)

okay you are really an adult now :D

Okay ... seems like you all are 18 and above yah :D




okok.... the case started like this:


I was at Paradigm mall , and alot of you guys know that i have small tangki ( bladder) , so i have to go to toilet very often ...i think my tangki ( bladder ) leakage .. easily get full..


As usual, went in the toilet ( its MEN's toilet), just stood at the urinal and pee la of course...


Then a small boy next to me also peeing .... nothing special actually ....then suddenly ....


The small boy finished peeing and zipped his pants , and he came to my urinal and look at me ... 


Me : whats wrong? y you look at me ?


Small boy : Jie jie ..... y you have "kuku"? ( kuku -  means penis ,actually i also donno kuku its from which language, usually Chinese will use this word since they are young .. agree? )


Me : oii!! dont you see i have kuku and  obviously im a MAN and you still think im a JIE JIE??


Small boy : noo... you are a girl but u have KUKU!


Me : i donno how to explain to you  that im a guy already.. ( on the way to vomit blood)


Small boy : You are a JIE JIE with KUKU! you are pondan ( means transsexual/ shemale)


Me : ........


-End-

 I GONNA KILL U !!HOW MANY TIMES U NEED ME TO TELL U IM A REAL MAN???

I just left the toilet with sexism feeling :(

International Edition : Toilet ( Bali )

Date Happened : 17 May 2012

International Edition : Toilet (Bali)

Yoooo!! I just came back from Bali few days ago , to be honest the traffic there was freaking bad la wei... jam all the way from morning till night..


Okay this case happened in Ubud of Bali. ( Ubud is a cultural town of Bali , you will love it if you love to buy some craft & paint, but if you are a happening person, sorry la... then you should stay in either Kuta or Legian , plenty of nightlife activities over there)


Me and my girlfriend had "Bebek Goreng" (  deep fried duck) at Ubud, environment was nice due to the restaurant facing nice padi field and we enjoyed our lunch over there.


After that i went to the toilet, toilet was packed, and there are alot tourist in the toilet as well... i went in a cubical to pee... and when im peeing .. i heard a boy singing happily in the toilet..


Boy : La! La ! La! La!! laaa !! Laaa! ( nice tempo)


When i came out from the cubical i saw a cute mat salleh boy ( usually mat salleh is to describe western people for Malaysian) and he looked at me ... and his face turned pale and his singing tempo changed to :


Boy : La.aa...........a .....l..a..........a.......a......LA....a... ( the tempo was totally out)


Then i just smiled at him and said  " you  sing really well" . Its a complement wei...


But the boy told his daddy "Daddy  , very scary... there is a long hair girl came out from cubical and she said i can sing well"

Woi! Its  a guy talking to you not long hair girl!